In addition, people have created virtual walls or borders within which a child is expected to grow. This brings more stress and strain to parents. With the time of parents and children stretched, tension develops in the parents.
However, parents have to ensure that they spend at least 20 minutes every day with their child. This period has to be totally dedicated to the child and the parent has to provide all that the youngster seeks. Sometimes it may be a game or in other cases a story. There should be undivided attention and even the phone can be kept away.
In a nuclear family, a single child is not an uncommon sight. There are many critics of having an only child but it is not at all an issue. However, the parents of a single child have to ensure that their lives do not revolve around the child. They, in fact, have to make the child a part of the society.
Either they have a single child or several children, the parents should give sufficient attention to each kid, says Dr Jiji Vijayan.
Another issue that creates anxiety among parents is having a second child and its effects on the first kid. It is seen that in 90 % of the cases, the first child has a problem with a second child. But this situation can be easily tackled. The parents should prepare the first child mentally for the arrival of a second child. They should make him or her demand another young one in the family. If such a situation is created, there would be no sibling rivalry.
When there is more than one child, differences and fights take place between the children. Many parents have a tendency to intervene in such issues. But it is best that parents keep away from such disputes. Their policy has to be ‘let it be’. After all, differences of opinion are common among people. Only that kids don’t hide their feelings.
It is the tendency of some parents to build a friendship with their children. However, youngsters may not respond favourably. For them, friendship with peers would be more important.
Listening is an important part of parenting. But hearing and listening are different. Listening is a more involved process and children would develop closeness with a parent who does this.
But parents should not try to advice their children. They can better be patient listeners. Meanwhile, parents also can open up and build a bonding with their wards.
These days, teachers in schools see students scoring high scores as their pets. This is owing to the academic system. However, each child is different and has a unique talent and passion, which have to be identified and encouraged. According to American developmental psychologist Howard Gardner, there are 9 types intelligence in children and only one would be high.
Children have inborn talent as well acquired talent. Fingerprint analysis by DMIT tests can identify inborn talents. After identifying the child’s talent, he or she should be shown the right path and given proper guidance. By combining the unique and acquired talents as well as the child’s passion and dedicating at least 10,000 hours on building them the youngster would be on the right track.
To sum up, if effective parenting is to be defined in one word, that would be ‘protection’. A child may come from its parents, but is a unique and different individual. The parents can only protect the child up to certain age. Till then, a parent is a motivator, inspirator, teacher and protector.