Serious impact of anger is when the anger is self-directed or when is individual-directed. Self-director anger may lead people to kill themselves in depression. Person-directed anger may lead one to act harmful to other. We have seen newspaper headlines showing people kill for no reason, or for silly reasons, but in the burst of uncontrolled anger. Anger can be sometime chronic and sometime paranoid. Anger is dangerously black or compulsively white. Coach becomes angry on athlete for better result, parent is angry on child for marks are some examples of white anger.
How to Control? Where to Begin?
Anger is associated with the sudden flow of adrenaline to our blood which will provide some extra power and courage, but less energy to think and act. Primary step to control anger is taking deep breaths at the moment we become angry. Inhalation of oxygen will technically energize our cells and we get more time to think.
In every long breath, we get time to think about what may be the after effect of this situation once you over-react. It might result in breaking of relationship, or in loss of job or most significantly, the loss of dignity in public. So you will be careful about the words you spell and the moves you make.
Many examples are there in which people won’t get a second chance to change the results of anger. Children commit suicide due to a violent behavior of parent, lovers kill themselves on issues that can be rectified, and more such tragedies may follow. Anger will end up in an hour or a couple. But the things we lost can’t be repaired.
Important tip to get rid of anger is being pro-active, not reactive. Let’s discuss it through a story. Rajesh was a deputed officer of his company and he had an important foreign-delegate meeting that day. He arranged the entire document in his file, dressed up well and came out for breakfast. While he was reading newspaper, his wife put a cup of tea on the table and went in to the kitchen. His 6-year-old daughter came that way tried to hug her father, but accidently flipped the cup of tea over his waist.
Rajesh got angry horribly that his suit is damaged, and the wife and child stood shocked. He changed his cloth but still angry and went out to the office. Anger made him drive rash and police caught him on the way. He had to spend some time for procedures and reached the office late. He somehow managed to convince the delegates who were already there and began the presentation. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find the documents – he forgot to take t when he abruptly moved out home.
The meeting failed in desperate and Rajesh had to face the consequences. At the end, he thought how different it could have been if he had pro-acted than reacted. He should have considered the small child did a mistake and forgiven her. He could have changed his dress within minutes. What spoiled his day and the meeting is his anger.
Pro-acting is a kind of technique which will allow you not to think about how you suffer by others, but how others come to a situation that made to suffer. Anger can be rectified if you think from a different angle. It’s about determining what is important – being angry or surpassing it and having better things further? Take deep breaths and think, what if you become anger and what not. Also walk for a few steps, listen to some music, and talk freely to some beloved ones or whatever you love to do to alleviate your anger.